1.) You're throwing a sickie:
Most of us know the feeling when the alarm clock goes off and the first thought to amble into our foggy brain is, "I just can't be bothered today". The occasional sickie can be one of life's great pleasures but, again, it's best kept to yourself rather than broadcast on Facebook. That is, if you want to keep your job.
A famous example involved Aussie call centre worker Kyle Doyle, who became a minor web celebrity after being memorably busted for skiving, after announcing his intention to pull a sickie on his Facebook status.
2.) You're on jury duty:
There are a few rules to abide by when sitting on a jury, but one of the real biggies is that you keep your mouth firmly zipped when outside the courtroom. As for posting about the case on your Facebook page, well that's definitely right out.
Don't put yourself in the position of one female juror, who was struggling to come to a decision on a child abuse case in 2008. "I don't know which way to go, so I'm holding a poll," the erstwhile juror wrote on her Facebook page. Her removal from the jury swiftly followed, after an anonymous tip-off to court officials.
3.) You're on the run:
For every criminal mastermind, there are a thousand bungling goons. Want proof? Look no further than 28-year-old Craig Lynch, a convicted burglar who went on the run after absconding from a Suffolk open prison in September 2009. Presumably feeling rather smug about evading the law, Lynch taunted police by regularly updating his Facebook page with details of what he was up to. Surprisingly, he managed to remain at large for a few months, before being finally reunited with his cell in January. Top tip for other would-be Lord Lucans: the idea is to lie low, understand?
4.) You're having an affair:
Facebook has become fertile ground for divorce lawyers, who are more than happy to pore over the site searching for indiscreet status updates and incriminating photos. A recent Stateside survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that 81% of top US divorce lawyers have seen an increase in cases using social networking evidence - with the bulk of those involving Facebook.
5.) You've done something stupid:
Practical jokes are all well and good, but just remember that some people might not see the funny side. Ask the seven staff from the accident and emergency department at Great Western Hospital in Swindon, Wiltshire, who found themselves temporarily suspended after allegedly playing the 'lying down game' and posting the pictures on Facebook. The doctors and nurses were said to have photographed themselves lying on resuscitation trolleys, ward floors and a helipad, a prank of which bosses at the hospital took a rather dim view.
6.) You've got 5,000 friends:
Some people collect Facebook 'friends' with the same kind of fervent desperation with which they court Twitter followers. But it's all for nowt, as it turns out our poor brains can only deal with up to 150 real mates. Any more than that and you might find that while you're bang up-to-date with what your window cleaner Steve's weekend entails, your closest friend since childhood has become, um, thingummy. Remember, folks: a hulking friends list isn't a sign of popularity, it's just poor quality control.
7.) You hate your job:
Or your company, your boss or your customers. If you're going to use your Facebook page as a vehicle for ranting about your daily occupation, you'd better make sure your privacy settings are ratcheted right up to the max or that you really don't mind seeing your P45 pretty soon.
History is littered with the sackings of staff who made ill-advised comments about their workplace; from the airline staff who branded their passengers 'chavs' to the still-on-probation new starter who posted a foul-mouthed status update about her boss, forgetting she had previously friended him. Don't join them.
8.) You're doing great at Farmville:
Time for a reality check, farmers. We don't care that you found a golden egg in your imaginary cowshed or that your pretend crops are growing super-great after being watered by that good friend of yours. In fact, people care so little, there are now even browser plug-ins available that will prevent Farmville updates from showing in Facebook feeds. If you're going to skive through your day on Farmville or its ilk, fair enough. Just turn off the auto-updates, please?
9.) You're off on holiday:
Time for a bit of sunshine? Good for you. You deserve it. Just try not to sign off for the fortnight with a status update along the lines of: "Yippee! Off to Spain for two weeks tomorrow!" It's not that we're jealous (honest), it's just that putting that kind of information online is little better than slapping a "not home for a fortnight" poster on your front door. Even if you've taken the eminently sensible precaution of not including your address on your Facebook page, it can still be easily found elsewhere online.
10.) You're having a party
Facebook is great for organising meet-ups with your mates, but listing your private house party on there? Unless you're up for the kind of shindig that involves hundreds of gategrashers ripping up the carpet and making off with the family silver, we'd suggest not. To be honest, we would have thought people had wised up to this one by now but, judging by the recent case of a 16-year-old who listed his party on Facebook, it appears not.
Culled from MSN fun page site.
